Why Hello!Project PV's suck

Hello!

I saw the music video for Koda Kumi's "Showgirl," which I thought was great, and I was hit with the inspiration I needed to post.:

Why is this PV so good, but Hello!Project PVs so bad?

To answer this, I'll go into the plots/concepts of a few recent H!P PVs, one from Ayu, and "Showgirl" from Koda Kumi.

Nai Chau Kamo-

This PV is a danceshot with the girls looking all sad and dejected in the rain. That's about it.

Co.No.Mi.Chi-

This PV is a danceshot with Buono walking around infront of cheap CG-ed backgrounds. There's also minimal close-up shots added in here and there.

Madayade-

A danceshot and the Berryz working in an office along with danceshot closeups.

FOREVER LOVE-

C-ute watching their own danceshot with a few close-ups thrown in.

Marionette-

Ayumi is asleep in a creepy old room, all alone. She dreams of being held on a delapidated carosel, and being manipulated like a marionette. In the end, she wakes up and goes over to a mini, delapidated carosel like the one that she and a few other puppets were on, and sees that no one is there. As a bonus, at the concerts, they showed extra footage from it where the real Ayu actually was being manipulated like a Marionette by the men who were trapped on the carosel with her.

Showgirl-

Koda is dumped by her boyfriend, and decides to get back at him by becoming famous. She goes into a theatre and sees a dance troop. When she finds a poster that says that the group is holding auditions, Koda tries out and gets in. In fact, the judges like her so much that she's placed front and center in the group. After a great 1st performance, she talks to the dazzled fans and media. Her old boyfriend comes up to her, trying to woo her, but she promptly turns him down. It also shows her and the other dancers, who are very jealous of her, backstage after the show, where she shows them an expensive necklace she got from an admirer.

So, do we see the difference now?

Hello!Project PV's are just... bland. They have no story, no engaging theme, and not a hint of symbolism. I mean, while you could interperet the fact that Ayu is manipulated like a Marionette to mean that maybe she feels like some people are manipulating her in her real life, or that she feels too restricted by her carrer. Showgirl implies that Kumi has fun being a star and that she can take is all in stride.

What does NaiChau Kamo mean, the girls sometimes get sad? Do the sparkles placed by the girls in the Madayade PV mean that they're pretty?

And why do we care about that? While we may not know the deeper meanings that Ayumi's PV implies, I'm sure that we all knew that idols get sad and that they're pretty or cute.

The plot also makes a huge difference in this. While there doesn't need to be symbolism in a PV to make it good, there should at least be a plot. As I've written above, Kumi's PV has a story to it, and it's fun to watch and see what happens. It's kind of like a short little movie to watch while you're listening to the song. The stories can be engaging, sad, or funny. They aren't just "girls watching themselves dance" or "girls walking through bad representations of real places," they have a good story to them that you actually have to watch the PV to get.

While the girls' cuteness may draw wotas to them, and the pop music may draw the little girls straight that way, how are you supposed to draw teenage girls, who are some of the best patrons in most music markets, with a PV that doesn't interest them. If you had never heard of either H!P or Avex trax, and you had to watch both music videos, would you rather pay attention to the one that draws you in with a plot, or the one that just has cute girls walking around?

Furthermore, some may argue that you'd need a budget to do PVs with stories, but, there are ways you could turn these around with minimal extra money:

NaiChau Kamo- Show a guy, whose face you don't even need to show, dumping one of the girls, then spend time on having that girl talk and/or bitch to her friends (aka the rest of Morning Musume) about how stupid that guy was and have the other girls try to cheer her up one-by-one.

-Downsides: Bitching fans because one of the girls would get substantially more screentime than the rest. And possible angry extreme-wotas who are offended by even the thought of their favorite girl having a bf.

-Extra things needed: A random guy (hell, you could even just pull one off of the streets and pay him minimum wage if you don't show his face), a few chairs or couches and maybe a rug(which you could borrow), some games for the girls to play(the games you could probably borrow too), and a plain and simple room to put the stuff in. (which could probably just be a simple 2-white walls set-up.

Co.No.Mi.Chi- This has some of a plot already, but you could have the girls planning where to go and then finding themselves lost and trying to find their way back. (Yes that's a lame plot, but there are several movies like this, so why can't it work?)

-Downsides: It might be a little more expensive, but considering how well it's selling, that shouldn't be a problem.

-Extra things needed: A room for the girls to start and end in, and a tour around Tokyo with a camera. (or maybe just better CG)

Madayade- The girls just got hired at a foreign company, and they can't find ways to commuinicate with their bosses who only speak english. They proceed to study english with eachother until their boss finds them doing so and yells at them for slacking off or something.

-Downsides: This might be hard to get if you miss the parts of the PV with the girls and their english textbooks.

-Extra things needed: English textbooks or Japanese-English dictionaries

FOREVER LOVE- The girls are working a security center, and see some girls (Maimi and Erika dressed as robbers) running through the halls, and proceed to try and catch them. Regular Maimi and Erika guide the girls with their cellphones to robber Maimi and robber Erika, who keep evading them. At the end, the younger C-ute girls catch them right before they reach the exit.

-Downsides: There would be no room for a danceshot.

-Extra things needed: two robber costumes, a hall set with a turn and an exit (it can be reused for multiple shots from different angles), and fake cell phones (the chasing girls) and headmics (for regular Maimi and Erika)

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That's pretty much it...

-Midori