10 Things I'd do if I took over... AKB48
Hello!
I felt the need to write a new blog entry, so here it is!!!
AKB48
- I'd make there be no research students. One of the many things that really pisses me off is their ability to somehow come up with a totally b.s. excuse to not have 48 girls as the name sugests. The research students were just part of the b.s. after the number got above 48.
- I would reaudition everyone. I know that many people love AKB48 and H!P, but I'm only a fan of H!P, and the singing is why. At least half of H!P (including the soon to depart elders club, and about half not including them) can sing to a level where I have no problem hearing them live, and when the elders depart, I'm sure I'll be treated to better singing from the wonderful hearts girls, and some of the more talented eggs moving up. On the other hand, AKB48 is simply an otaku trap: they just have to get cute girls and put them where otaku will take notice, no talent needed, and the otaku will love them. I can't stand any more than 3 of them live. And to prove my point that otakus will love any cute girl, look at them worshiping seiyuus who sing.
- I would redo all their songs. Their songs are either too mature or too cutesy. I liked Chocolove's 1st single, but even that got too annoying for me after a few times. The only song from them I enjoy throughly would be Junnai no Crecendo.
- I'd squeeze every drop of money out of the girls I could. By this, I mean, I'd over merchandise, put out photobooks, make them cosplay, and in general appeal to otakus more. We know that they'll pay about $50 for a 2-episode DVD of their favorite anime or a figure of their favorite character, so why not do this for idols? Sell an over-priced 1-hour long DVD or create AKB48 figures?
- Make them more otaku-esque. I love Danny Choo's blog, and I can tell you that some of the things that are mentioned are related to fetishes that hardcore otaku have. I'm sure we can have some AKB48 girls crushing model train sets while wearing high heels filmed quite easily.
- Get them into smaller units. Yes, they do do a little of this, but can't they have medium-sized units.
- Stop making rip-off groups. This is self-explanitory. AKB48 has enough girls to memorize already, why tripple the number?
- Stop making the girls seem like sluts. Yes, H!P and other idols, singers, and actresses from around the world have bikini shots of themselves released to the public, but with the group releasing an image (I believe it was an album cover) of a girl with her dress unzipped and her bra showing, and the lyrics of their songs getting closer to "Sera Fuku wa Nugasanaide"'s lyrics every single, I'm getting more and more disturbed. (There are girls younger than me in there! Including a 12-year-old, singing extremely mature stuff!)
- Don't put them in dramas, put them in animes! If they're going to appeal to otaku, put them in something otaku's really love. Also, the 3 who were recently cast in Men-dol frankly have trouble acting. I tried to watch it, but the bad acting combined with the fact that it consists of their manager acting like a total sex-crazed maniac, the girls getting changed in a sea of costumes, and extremely weak attempts at acting. (Bad actors with guns does not costitute a kidnapping!) Frankly, to put it quite simply, it seems that everything else in the show is made to lead up to the perverted parts.
- I'd make a crossover unit with H!P. This is something I'd always think it would be interesting to do: get the best 3 singers from AKB48 and H!P, put them together, get them a cross-country tour, maybe make them permanent, get them a hell of a lot of publicity, and let them roll. I'd want to see how these girls would act together, and I'm sure it would up both groups' sales. Also, when you combine their best singers and put them in a unit, it could become a super unit with no ties to either group. Actually, the reason I want to do this is more because I'd like to see what would happen if Japan could see that not all idols are talentless and just all looks. While I don't think that AKB has nearly as many talented girls as H!P, I can say that there are a few that could be in this unit.
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YAY! Done. I really want to sleep now!
By the way, speaking of things I really want to do, this one I actally did! (In skating) I did a spread eagle while holding onto my friend who was doing a Y-spiral. (Like the Y-balance that Sayu did in her skits on Moutube, but backwards and on ice skates moving!)
-Midori
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Comments
I actually laughed a lot reading this, you have a great sense of humor.
But, I think you need to know a little more about the group. It seems like you haven't watched their stages, or even a single concert, or else you wouldn't be saying that they need more units (not only they do it all the time, some girls perform in duets or even solos) or that the H!P girls are more talented in singing than them. Or course, I'm not forgetting the greatest soloists of H!P (Ayaya, Gocchin, Yuki Maeda, Kaori!)...but the rest aren't so great. Some of them need serious improving.
All the AKB girls (yes, every single one) have average voices, considering also they have to perform live almost every day of the year (which is the reason there are research students, since almost all girls have had back problems or serious injuries due to overperforming, they need someone to replace them!) Amazing voices such as Yuka Masuda, Minami Takahashi, Noro Kayo, Rina Nakanishi, Yuki Kashiwagi...and a long etc.
Also their songs are just average mainstream jpop sound, like what EMI and Avex have been producing lately, nothing else.
Same with their lyrics. They are sexy, yes, but they don't degrade themselves or do anything that makes us feel embarassed of them, do they? I would say they want to project the cool, badass schoolgirl image to the crowd, that includes being sexy since Koda Kumi made her 'ero-kakkoii' style fashionable back in 2005. I don't see a reason of why should people call them 'sluts' just because a girl (Megumi Ohori, whose face you can't even see on the cover) is showing a (transparent) strip of her bra. Again, with Koda, have you seen the cover of her 'Come with me' single? I can't even start to describe it D:
I could write more, but the image of Koda's underwear has made an awful return into my mind, so that's all. Sorry if I sounded rude, but you can see English is not my first language.